BrianJarrett.com

Last week my family and I went to Sweet Tomatoes, something not uncommon, and had dinner. After we’d finished Traci went outside because she was cold and also not feeling well. I was inside still, getting Orson cleaned up and minding my own business when an old woman walked past our table. She remarked on how cute Orson was and I agreed; he’s a good-looking kid. We get that all the time so it wasn’t strange, in and of itself. She then went on to tell me that I should speak to him in a loving manner and essentially be kind to him. I thought all fathers should do that actually. I told her that I was very involved with raising Orson and did indeed provide him with love and understanding. By then I thought that she was getting a little out of her boundaries but I didn’t want to be rude to an old lady and I figured she’d just move on.

Then she asked me if he was a “Jesus-Boy”. I wasn’t sure if I’d heard her correctly so I asked her again what she said. Turned out I’d heard her correctly. ‘Great’, I thought. I tried to diffuse the situation by kindly bowing out. I didn’t want to tell her that her belief system was total bullshit; I just wanted to be left alone. I said ‘we’re really not that religious’ hoping that she’d just go on her way soon. I didn’t want to give in and just agree with her; I’d be selling out then. But, I didn’t want to become an unwitting participant in a self-fulfilling prophecy. The reality is that most evangelicals and fundamentalists believe that atheists are the same as the devil. We’re evil people who do evil things because we have no concept of ethics, compassion, conscience. If I allowed this to digress into an argument then I’d prove to her that I was indeed the monster that her leaders claimed I was. I was now uncomfortable too, a feeling I’m all too familiar with in public, especially around strangers.

She then told me that the only way Orson would see salvation was through Jesus and baptism. Now I really don’t know why a child needs any kind of salvation at all; children are innocent. Original sin is bullshit. Still trying to be nice, but becoming more and more uncomfortable and a little angry, I told her that I appreciated her advice. At that point I began cleaning Orson up and trying to ignore her. She just wouldn’t stop though, repeating the same thing again. I once again told her thanks for her concern and tried to ignore her. Finally she went away and I made the mental note to tell Traci about the experience.

I got Orson cleaned up and walked outside. Sure enough, there she was, sitting on a bench in front of the building. As soon as I got to Traci the old woman began again. She referred to our earlier conversation inside and continued to tell me that if Orson ever wanted to see her again then he needed to be baptized because she’s was going to heaven and that was the only way Orson was going to get there. (I guess she’d written me off as a lost cause by that point.) Once again I tried to be nice and just placate her by telling her thanks for her opinion. She continued on and I’d had it by that point. I told her ‘we’ve got things under control; don’t worry about it’ and I turned my back on her and walked away while she continued to spout more rhetoric.

This is yet another example of unsolicited, arrogant, and aggressive Christianity. In the hours after this encounter I thought a lot about it. I still think I was right in shying away from an argument in public with an old woman but I do wish that I’d shut her down a little earlier. I also wonder if I should have taken the opportunity to inform this woman that Orson wasn’t a “Jesus-Boy” or a “Muslim boy” or a “Jewish boy” or a “Morman boy” or even an “atheist boy”; that he wasn’t old enough to decide what he was yet. That decision will be his to make when he gets older. This isn’t the first time I’ve had religious rhetoric thrown my way but this is the most in-your-face experience I’ve ever had. I wonder how so many Christians in America can claim to be in the discriminated minority when, by all appearances, it seems to be the other way around. Try being an atheist in the current American climate. Hell, our president invaded Iraq after God told him to do it! The religious right is anything but discriminated against; they’re organized, persuasive, and full of conviction. And in all this time I’ve never had an atheist come up to me at a restaurant or anywhere else and try to convince me why I shouldn’t believe in God.

All I want is to be left alone; is that too much to ask?