BrianJarrett.com

If you’ll remember not too long ago we were out to dinner, minding our own business, when some woman decided to give me free advice on how to raise my children. Apparently she felt that indoctrinating my child and turning him into a “Jesus-Boy” was the choice I should make or else we’d never get to heaven…blah, blah, blah.

I must have inverted cross on my forehead because last night, at the same place, I had more unsolicited advice thrown my way. This time it was a couple of old women. At first it was innocent enough, just like last time, talking about how cute the kids were and whatnot. Then, as they were leaving, they told me that “all they ask is that we raise the kids according to the Bible”. I saw that one coming as soon as the tone changed. It went from social nicety to condescending Bible-Bleating almost instantaneously. She went on to tell me that they were Jehovah’s Witnesses and that the Bible tells us to raise the kids according to the Word and that’s what they tell people. This was, as I suspected, not their first time extolling biblical advice to strangers.

I told these ladies that we had everything under control. I guess my tone must have had the “mind your own goddamn business and leave me alone” sound to it because they immediately closed with some subdued goodbyes and then scurried along on their way. The couple at the table beside us was as surprised as we were. They seemed to be in agreement with us; they had two girls of their own and probably didn’t want to be told how to raise them.

One could argue that since the Jehovah’s Witnesses are a cult that this was an anomalous event; regular religions don’t do that. Well, regular religions are also cults, just with more members and political power and yes, they do do that. I’ve been on the receiving end more than once. I know that Witnesses are more inclined to do this though; they get “extra credit” points for it.

All I want is to be left alone. Is that really too much to ask?